July 8, 2009

Hmmm..

It seems like it's been awhile since I really stopped to think about things... About everything. It feels like I've lost the ability to think deeply, with a focused mind. Maybe I just need more time to myself. There's only so much I can do nowadays...

Here I go again, failing Him more and more each day... Why does this happen? I thought I was over it already.. But I guess it's never really over. It's a constant struggle that He already expects me to go through. But I really need help, I can't do this alone...

I wonder, am I still being true to myself lately? I don't even know anymore...

I don't understand. I never really expected things to turn out this way.. For awhile now I've resisted, just waiting for the type of person that I know I needed. So why were things different when it came to her?
I honestly don't have a clue how I'm going to bring her to Christ, or if I even have the courage to try hard enough. I keep sensing that she just feels uneasy about all of it. I know I shouldn't be scared, but why am I?
I love her, I really do. But there are times when I ask myself if this is really what's right for me.. I would hate to think that I'm only setting ourselves up for inevitable heartbreak.. Only God knows...

I want to blog everything out a lot more, but I don't know if I should right now.. I really don't know what I'm doing with my life right now, for that matter. Am I even going the right way? I guess only time will tell...

1 comment:

Name is Nel... said...

Hey Gabe,

Honestly, I've been there and done that. And all I can really say is SHOW who God is in your life, and if they have a willing heart... then God will use you as an instrument for His good. But if it's hard for you... please take good hard look at what God has presented before you. He is good and all He does is for His glory alone... that we all may come back to Him if we are lost.

It took me 2 years to realize that the person I was talking to turned the other way whenever I mentioned my first love with Christ... they even questioned why I chose God before him. Don't let that happen to you, it hurts when you cannot share your greatest love with the person you care for. But hey, Christian group settings are great to let them know how God has worked in the lives of your friends.

I feel like I'm preaching... and I usually don't comment like this. But pray about it... and ask God for His guidance so that you may bring glory to Him in whatever He has planned in your life.

Your sister in Christ,
Gianel